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Friend Vs Money

Ah, money and friends a mix as unpredictable as the weather. One moment you're basking in the warmth of good vibes and hearty laughter, and the next, you're dodging the dark clouds of unpaid debt. If you’ve ever lent money to a friend in Kenya, chances are you've asked yourself: Is this a loan, an investment, or an unplanned act of charity?  

Your pal texts you late one night, throwing in all the classic hits: "Niaje, ni save" and "Niko kwa shida sis." You know the vibe. Their M-Pesa is as dry as a maize field in January. So, you send them cash, sometimes even without asking too many questions. Because that's what friends do, right? Only, weeks later, the same friend posts a plate of nyama choma on Instagram, captioned: “Living my best life.” And there you are, scrolling with one eye twitching. Best life? Who funded this feast?  

For some reason, friendships in Kenya often include unofficial banking services. You might find yourself in the role of KCB Wanjiru Branch, lending to the needy and hopeful. The problem is, unlike actual banks, you don’t charge interest, and repayment timelines are, well, negotiable – mostly by the borrower. When you lend a friend money, you expect that they’ll return it out of respect for the friendship. But what happens when the vibe shifts? They start avoiding your calls, or worse, bring it up in that awkward “Niko na plan” tone, meaning the repayment plan is still pending.  

Here’s the thing about lending friends money: it tests your patience and your priorities. Do you value the friendship enough to let the debt slide? Or do you turn into a local auctioneer, demanding payment before the debt snowballs? There’s also the awkward power dynamic that creeps in. Every time you meet, there’s an unspoken tension – the debt hangs in the air like Nairobi dust during construction season. You don’t want to be that person who keeps bringing it up, but you also don’t want to pretend you forgot.  

When a friend owes you money, the truth is, you’re faced with two choices. You either write it off as charity and say, “I’ve supported a struggling soul,” or you whip out your inner teacher and remind them about financial responsibility. But before you decide, consider this: Was the loan significant enough to hurt your pockets? If yes, feel free to follow up unapologetically. You're not Safaricom with endless goodwill bonuses. If it was a manageable amount, though, you might want to let it slide for the sake of peace.  

Lending money to friends isn’t always a bad idea. It’s how you do it that matters. If you’re lending money, be upfront about repayment expectations. Something like, “Sure, I can help you out, but I’ll need it back by end month.” Only lend what you can afford to lose because if losing that amount would leave you broke, rethink lending it in the first place. And don’t be afraid to say no when you have to. It’s okay to say, “I’m not in a position to help right now.” Better a little awkwardness upfront than prolonged drama later.  

Friendships are precious, but so is financial peace of mind. If you find yourself repeatedly bailing out friends who never pay back, ask yourself: Are you their friend or their personal finance safety net? Sometimes, the best charity you can offer is saying no, especially when saying yes leaves you in a tight spot. So, the next time your phone buzzes with that classic "Ni save" text, remember to weigh the cost. Not just in shillings, but in the sanity you might sacrifice if the loan becomes a lifetime gift.

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