When you're a kid, making friends is as simple as sharing a bag of crisps or being the only two people in class who like the same toy. By the time you hit adulthood, though, friendships start feeling like one of those group projects in school where you're the only one doing the work. It's exhausting, it’s confusing, and sometimes, you wonder if it’s even worth the effort.
For most of us, adult friendships get their first big test after school. You're no longer seeing your people daily in the cafeteria, the lecture hall, or in the hostels. Instead, you’re tossed into different cities, jobs, and time zones, all trying to keep up with a life that seems to be moving faster than a matatu in the wrong lane. Suddenly, you're texting, “We should meet up soon,” while secretly wondering if it’s been too long to even count them as a close friend.
The truth is, adult friendships are misunderstood because we don’t talk about how much work they need. It’s not just about calling someone your bestie, it’s about making time for them, checking in, and understanding that people grow, change, and get caught up in their own lives. And here’s the truth: it’s not always personal.
Most of us are juggling work, family, side hustles, and the occasional existential crisis. So, when your friend forgets to text you back or cancels plans for the third time in a row, it’s easy to feel like they don’t care. But what if they’re just overwhelmed? What if you're both struggling to figure out this whole adulting thing and dropping a few balls along the way?
But let’s not sugarcoat it,sometimes, adult friendships do feel overrated. Not everyone has the energy to keep reaching out, especially if the effort feels one-sided. There’s a special kind of frustration in realizing that the person you’d once share everything with hasn’t asked how you’re doing in months. It makes you question if the bond was real or if it was just convenient.
Still, when you do find those rare people who make the effort, it’s magical. A random “I saw this and thought of you” text, a quick coffee meetup squeezed into a busy week, or a late-night call where you both vent about life it reminds you why friendships matter. These small acts of care build connections that feel genuine, even when life pulls you in different directions.
What helps is redefining what friendship looks like as an adult. It’s no longer about talking every day or being available 24/7. Sometimes, it’s about having that one person you can call when you need advice or a good laugh. It’s understanding that silence doesn’t always mean distance and that your friend is probably as grateful for your patience as you are for theirs.
At the end of the day, adult friendships are a bit like that favorite dress in your closet, worth keeping, but needing some tailoring to fit into your life now. They might not be as easy as the friendships we had when we were kids, but they’re far more rewarding. So, no, they’re not overrated. They’re just misunderstood and maybe, with a little effort, they’re exactly what we need to survive this beautiful chaos called adulthood.
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