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Toxic but Fun

Let me introduce you to the one constant in my life that refuses to ghost me: procrastination. It’s not just a bad habit; it’s a full-on situationship. Toxic? Absolutely. Entertaining? Unquestionably. It’s the partner I never asked for but somehow can’t seem to shake off—like that matatu conductor who insists on giving you your change in coins when he clearly has notes in hand.(Na bado ataenda kutafuta loose)

Here’s the thing about being a 26-year-old Kenyan parent: life is already chaotic. Between juggling work, school (hello, part-time online classes I swore would “open doors”), and raising a toddler who somehow has the energy of 20 people, you’d think I’d have no room for procrastination. But no, it sneaks in like a hawker selling socks in traffic—persistent, uninvited, and annoyingly persuasive.

Procrastination, though, isn’t always about sleep. Sometimes it’s about rediscovering my priorities. Like, why do the dishes now when I could be watching TikTok DIYs on how to clean dishes faster? Or, why write that proposal when there’s a new trending story on Facebook? I mean, surely, it’s important to relax your mind(and know what's happening where,and why) before diving into anything serious. Right?

One innocent scroll, and suddenly I’m deep in a debate about whether ugali pairs better with omena or sukuma wiki. Meanwhile, my deadline is laughing in my face, and the pile of dirty clothes has declared itself Mount Kenya.(Lakini mlima haifai kuguzwa,sindio?)My to-do list is staring at me, judgmental as ever. Supplies? Still not bought. That work proposal? Half-done. Let’s not even talk about it. Instead, I’m here, writing about procrastination, because irony is my favorite coping mechanism.

I swear, I could win an award for convincing myself that I “work best under pressure.” Spoiler alert: I don’t. The panic of a submission due today or that I promised someone I'd email them "in the morning" (three mornings ago) is just stress, not inspiration. Yet, here I am, stuck in this toxic cycle of delaying the inevitable.

But let’s be real. Procrastination isn’t always about laziness—it’s also survival. Life is busy. Between trying to parent, work, and maintain some semblance of a social life (or just sleep), some tasks get... postponed. Forever. It’s not that I forgot—it’s that life happened, and priorities shifted. Again. Procrastination might be toxic, but it also gives me a much-needed break from pretending I have my life together.Parenting in Kenya is no joke—everything is expensive, from diapers to unga. Add in the guilt of trying to give your kid a better life while staying afloat, and you’re bound to need a distraction.

Will I ever quit procrastination? Maybe. One day. Just not today. For now, I’ll keep navigating this messy Kenyan adulting life, one missed deadline at a time. But maybe I’ll start with small wins. Like tackling one thing on that to-do list every day. Or setting alarms to remind myself that deadlines exist. And, who knows, maybe this relationship with procrastination will eventually become less toxic and more... balanced.That counts for something so I’ll get to it… after I check my WhatsApp statuses. 


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