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Monday Madness: When Candy Crush Becomes Your Biggest Problem and Everything Else Feels Like a Maybe

So it’s Monday. The start of the week. The day we all pretend to be optimistic about achieving our goals, getting things done, and absolutely crushing it (pun intended). Except for me, today’s vibe feels more like a mix of trying to figure out if my period is late, endlessly battling a Candy Crush level, and having a massive internal debate about whether or not I should actually go through with this interview video I’m supposed to shoot.

Let’s start with Candy Crush, because why not? I’m on level 795 and honestly, at this point, I think it’s personal. Like the game knows I’ve got things to do today—important things like figuring out life, or at least pretending I have my life together—and it’s punishing me for daring to exist. I’ve been stuck on this level since yesterday, which, to be fair, is a lot of minutes when you’re this close to 30 and your time is, theoretically, precious. But no, instead of being productive, I’m over here swiping away like a toddler trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube, and it’s all just… not happening.

And then there’s the whole “am I late?” situation. My period might be late, but I’m too tired to even check the calendar and confirm. And no, I’m not pregnant—let’s not even entertain that idea. I can’t even remember the last time I was with a guy, and let’s be real, he’s abroad for heaven’s sake. So yeah, not a pregnancy scare, just my body doing its usual thing. I’ll deal with that later… maybe. I mean, it could be the stress of not finishing a Candy Crush level that’s throwing everything off. Or maybe it’s just Monday being Monday. Or maybe I’m in denial about the fact that I haven’t seen it show up yet. Whatever it is, I’ll probably check the calendar later and have that “oh, right, it’s probably just stress” moment. Or I’ll be surprised. The suspense is too much for me right now, though, so I’m putting it on the back burner of my already overstressed brain.

Now, about this interview video, I have to shoot. I’m really sitting here wondering if I should even bother. It’s not like I don’t want to do it, but it’s Monday. My energy is on low, and the thought of setting up the camera, getting the lighting right (which, let’s be real, is always a disaster), and making sure my hair isn’t doing some weird thing—it's a lot. Maybe I should reschedule -but the deadline is tomorrow evening. Maybe I’ll just do it another day (tomorrow) when I’m not feeling like a human potato who’s yet to finish a Candy Crush level. But then again, maybe the video will be the one thing I’m proud of this week. Or maybe I’ll just delete it and pretend I never recorded it. The possibilities are endless, and none of them are particularly motivating right now.

On top of all this, there’s the date I have planned for the weekend. My first instinct? Cancel. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good date (who doesn’t?), but right now? Monday's brain is telling me that a movie and takeout with my siblings are a better idea. It’s not even that I’m dreading the date; I just know that there will be some level of effort required—emotional energy, getting dressed, pretending I’m functioning like a normal person, and honestly, right now, I can’t even imagine going out in public and being charming and fun. That requires work. But hey, maybe I’ll wake up Friday and be excited about it. Or maybe I’ll just cancel last minute because that’s an option too, right?

But let’s not kid ourselves. If I’m still sitting here on Monday afternoon contemplating all of these things, it’s clear that I’m in full-on procrastination mode. Candy Crush isn’t even helping anymore. My period situation is still “pending.” The interview video? Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow. The date? I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it… or just cancel.

In conclusion, today feels like a lost cause. But hey, maybe by the time I finally finish this Candy Crush level (spoiler: not today), I’ll have the energy to tackle all the grown-up things I’ve been avoiding. Until then, I’ll just keep on pretending that everything’s fine while my period decides if it’s going to make an appearance or not. Maybe I’ll even get the interview video done. Maybe.

But for now, I’m calling it a Monday. And if that means accepting a little bit of chaos and a lot of procrastination, so be it.

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