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A Season of Me

As October ends, I’m stepping into a space where I’m choosing to focus on myself, not as a parent, not as a sister, but simply as me. This decision is something that’s been quietly building within me, and it’s finally time to nurture the parts of myself that I’ve been putting aside for too long.

Why now?

I realized it was time to make a shift after hitting one of my lowest moments earlier this year. During that time, I had nobody to look up to, and I wasn’t strong enough to carry myself the way I thought I should. In that moment of vulnerability, I felt lost and unsure. Then, a Frimentioned that maybe I should take time just to be me. That conversation stayed with me. It was a nudge I didn’t know I needed—a reminder that it’s okay to focus on myself, to rebuild, and to give myself permission to grow.

That was the spark that led me here, to October. It feels like the perfect time to reconnect with who I am at my core, away from the roles I fulfill for others. This is about rediscovery, reflection, and renewal.

Balancing the roles of parent, sibling, and breadwinner has been one of the hardest things I’ve faced. Too often, I prioritize everyone else’s needs over mine. And while I cherish the people in my life, this constant prioritization of others has left me feeling like I’ve lost track of my own goals. My dreams, aspirations, and desires get shelved because I’m busy making sure everyone else is okay.

This month, I’m giving myself the space to reclaim my goals, to take them off the shelf, dust them off, and remind myself of what I want. I know it won’t be easy, but I owe it to myself to rediscover what drives me, what lights me up, and what makes me feel alive.

One of the things I miss the most is writing. Writing has always been my escape, my way of entering different worlds and exploring emotions and experiences beyond my own. But for a while now, I’ve struggled to get back to it. Between managing my mental health and focusing on being a breadwinner, I lost the ability to write. I couldn’t put words on paper, and eventually, I stopped trying.

But now, I’m ready to pick it up again. I’m hoping that October will be the month where I fully reconnect with writing, where I allow myself to get lost in storytelling and creativity without worrying about taking long breaks. I want writing to be a constant again, something I can lean on for both expression and joy.

There’s been one constant that I’ve clung to in my life: God. I keep coming back to the first four words in Genesis “In the beginning God…”. These words have always been a reminder of His unwavering presence, even in my most difficult moments. God was there in the beginning, and He is still here now.

This month, I want to focus on bringing God into the beginning of everything I do whether big or small. Whether it’s in my writing, my reflections, or my personal growth, I want to make sure that I invite Him into the process. It’s a reassuring thought to know that I’m never alone, that even when I lose my way, He’s there, guiding me back.

A big part of this journey will be about how I care for myself. I’ve spent so long caring for others that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to really focus on me. This month, I’m committing to practices that fill me up rather than drain me. Reading books that inspire me, writing as a way to release my thoughts, and upskilling myself in areas that excite me are just a few of the things I’ll be doing.

Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated, but it does need to be intentional. I’m learning that rest is productive, and that nurturing myself mentally, physically, and spiritually is not a luxury but a necessity.

By the end of year, I want to feel more like myself. I want to find me the woman who’s been buried under responsibilities and expectations. I hope to walk away from this month with a deeper sense of confidence, knowing that I can prioritize myself without guilt. I want to be clearer on my goals and to feel empowered to pursue them. This isn’t about neglecting the people I love or the roles I play; it’s about making sure that I’m not neglecting myself in the process.

So here’s to November a month of rediscovery, reflection, and finding strength in who I am, not in what I do for others, but in what I do for me.

As I embark on this journey, I’m giving myself grace. I don’t expect to figure everything out in 30 days, but I do expect to make space for myself in ways I haven’t before. I hope to walk out of this month with a clearer sense of purpose, a stronger connection to my creativity, and a deeper trust in God’s presence in all that I do.

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