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Independent or Invincible?

Every time someone tells me, "You're so independent!" I can't help but flash a polite smile. Sure, it's a nice compliment, but deep down, I know the truth. My independence isn't a badge of honor; it's a survival mechanism.

I've been through a lot in my life. I've been abandoned, hurt, and left to fend for myself. And over time, I've learned to rely on no one but myself. It's like I've built this impenetrable wall around me, a fortress of independence.

But when people praise me for being so self-sufficient, it's a bittersweet reminder of the pain I've endured. It's like they're saying, "Wow, look at you, all alone and thriving!" And while I appreciate the sentiment, it also makes me a little sad.

I wish I could just be a normal person who relies on others, who isn't afraid to ask for help. But the fear of abandonment runs deep, and it's hard to shake. So, for now, I'll keep being the independent woman I've become. But deep down, I hope one day I'll find someone who can break down those walls and show me that I don't have to be invincible all the time.

I've learned that independence is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it's empowering to know that I can handle anything that comes my way. On the other hand, it can be isolating and lonely.

I've also learned that it's okay to ask for help. It doesn't make you weak or dependent. In fact, it can be a sign of strength. Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is to admit that we need help.

I hope that one day, I'll be able to find a balance between independence and interdependence. I hope I'll be able to let people in and trust them without fear. But for now, I'll continue to be the strong, independent woman that I've become. And I'll keep hoping that one day, I'll find someone who can truly see me for who I am, flaws and all.

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Shevvy said…
Hugs 🫂🫂🫂🫂 Lifes for the living so live it and push on beyond the struggles and the hard times.
September 20, 2024 at 2:04 PM
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